"bitch is gonna get stabbed"

back from LA

jch345@hotmail.com — Sat, 14 Mar 2009 18:22:20 GMT

left my iphone on venice beach somewhere there, along with a small part of my emotional baggage
but i have brought back a little more confidence and motivation. hopefully i can learn how to be happy with myself again. i dont really want to date for a long time either. good thing i wont have to run into any old flames, at least not this weekend. it is ones birthday and hes off jumping out of planes, the other probably has the weekend off.
with a new phone number i have a chance at a fresh start in some ways.
i thank the government for a huge tax return/stimulus payment directly deposited into my checking account as well. i wont have to worry about rent! i can also get a better cushion to STAY AHEAD instead of just break-even. part of me wants to really get tattooed and finish my back, or buy a new balenciaga but i KNOW i should hold off on the bag if not a few hours of tattooing. its been since september since ive been fortunated enough to afford a single session which runs about $150/per hour.
my golden birthday is also coming up next weekend. so far im starting to have better luck in life, or maybe my time is coming; the moon and mars along with the starts are aligning for me to shine once again. im not psycho about astrology or horoscopes, but i believe they are true in general. im totally an aries, and as an aries i am ruled by fire and passion. thankfully i can start feeling it burning in me once again.

pitfalls

jch345@hotmail.com — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 14:09:11 GMT

as of 10 am yesterday i felt like i had lost everything. off to LA and malibu. i bought the ticket spur of the moment before a revitalizing brunch and two kettle bloody marys yesterday round 1130. its time to leave this state, if only for a second.

new year

jch345@hotmail.com — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 20:42:18 GMT

it felt great dropping as much as i did on the agent provocateur maschina barbed wire bra, bottom, and stocking set. that store is great....im not much for powdery aromas either but the store is all encompassing. now i just need to find the perfect time to wear it for the other person [besides me!] i bought it for.

bah humbug

jch345@hotmail.com — Sun, 14 Dec 2008 17:42:37 GMT

wow so my life sucks. time to go back to school and get a real job, or meet someone with one ;P

how is it that some people can just have the best people/relationships fall into their laps, fat and ugly people have other people to love constantly, and here i am have been single for all of my 21 years? to admit i feel ive only been a spectacular catch as of at least 4 years ago but STILL....come on, my non-existent track record proceeds me.
where do i have to go? lincoln park is full of stupid white suburbanites with no purpose in life but to get as drunk as possible until they get their diploma and sit behind a desk for the rest of their lives. wicker park and bucktown is full of dirty bi-weekly showered hipsters and scensters that prize themselves on their $2 tall boys of PBR at the bars. the west side is full of drug movers and gun chasing ghetto, dumbass gangbangers. gold coast is old money at its haughtiest, or new money at its blindest....the viagra triangle, the loop, my suburb, i could keep going with this huge list of [half true, half comepletly ignorant and hilarious] stereotypes but that wont heal my frustrated, bitter soul. no, only that perfect male will that i will hopelessly never meet.

turn it around!

jch345@hotmail.com — Tue, 25 Nov 2008 17:17:38 GMT

sell clothes and shoes on ebay [chloe, marc jacobs, and balenciaga!]
work out
deposits at bank
fax lease
pay bills
take out kitty litter
clean apt
buy groceries

its time to turn things around, ive got a fire lit under my ass for some really weird reason this morning.
this guy that has been my date, to my just friends, to my wanna be lover, to my just friends again said " if you played your cards right you'd have [it] all!!!"
i think thats why, but its not pissing me off for a change and pointing blame, its just making me want to do things! who knew...

i should be in a good mood but im not

jch345@hotmail.com — Fri, 14 Nov 2008 21:18:09 GMT

my roommate has no job and hasnt had one for the past 3 weeks...drinks all my booze BY HIMSELF, doesnt leave the apt, and hogs the tivo remote in his room
my family is weirded out by me and somewhat upset with me, they seemingly dont wanna talk to me but i dont know why
im not broke but have beautiful things no one wants to buy from me and i feel fat
work is monotonous and routine, unrewarding mentally
my potential manmeat is really understanding but somehow cant understand when i freakout cause plans fall through for a week straight and although we talk nonstop and text nonstop i havent heard form him in a good day and im actually in need of someone to talk to but im scared hes going to want to be 'just friends'

ever feel like life sucks so much but you just feel nothing?

fatfuck

jch345@hotmail.com — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 22:03:14 GMT

ive already spent well over $1k on this back tattoo and its probably only half finished, if that.
im strapped for cash and still buying inhailments when i need to move out! and hopefully still will on the 15th, given my roomate is still in and we go pay our security and pro-rated rent to get our keys. im waiting for him to get off work to tell me about why "there could be some problems."

which brings me to my point....im going to have to start selling some clothes, maybe even shoes :(.

so far i have a 12th street by cynthia vincent gray silk dress never worn
marc by marc jacobs purple knit sweaer with the tags still attached
marc by marc black drapey/tie tunic only worn once
balenciaga platform penny loafer heels in brown never worn :(((((((
and if need be ive got a couple philip lim dresses and pairs of jeans i can throw in because im too fat to wear anymore

also im fat as fuck. i cant wear any of my clothes anymore because of it. its disgusting. i am disgusting myself and i dont know what to do. well i know what to do but im so bummed out about it i just mope around and do nothinnggggg.
how depressing....broke, fat, and though i have nothin to wear i still have to get rid of a bunch of my clothes. fuck.

disappointment revisted

jch345@hotmail.com — Sat, 09 Aug 2008 15:12:08 GMT

my vaginas on strike because most people are fucking terrible. theyre even worse when they cant even admit or realize to their bullshit and wrongdoing.

i am so angry at myself and so sad at the same time. this is when i do stupid, stupid things. good day to work a double, with my puffy eyes and dark circles and all.

15 minutes

jch345@hotmail.com — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 15:58:56 GMT

so meghan from rock of love and i love money was totally eating on the patio of my restaurant last night! i think she was on a date, with a not so cute bald dude. the waitress who waited on them overheard she was trying to talk to the produces to get on a new show. needless to say i doubt she wins the 250k on i love money. small world...i didnt know she was from chicago?

in other news my back is soooooo itchy, and im dying to buy a new handbag. got my eye on this smaller than usual sized bag, the cleopatra, by thomas wylde with its large leather tassels [love tassles!] and bullet head studs going aroung the bag. to buy or to wait out for another balenciaga. rock n roll couture is my downfall...!

what the fuck

jch345@hotmail.com — Sat, 02 Aug 2008 13:50:33 GMT

so i almost won a balenciaga clutch on ebay, then the bitch removed the item and combined it with some god aweful pink bbag.....then i almost won a prada bauletto bag and THAT bitch removed it too....what are with indecisive cunts on EBAY!!!!

in other news i got the linework done on my back yesterday and its pretty amazing. ouch, is all i have to say really.

ugh

jch345@hotmail.com — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 16:37:13 GMT

i gave in and let piggy back in. sucks being human sometimes.

in other news you can see bill murray fly!! at the chicago air and water show in the 15th hell be jumping out of a plane...cool cool.

hmmm

jch345@hotmail.com — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 20:33:02 GMT

totally hung out with madonna in my dream all last night. it was strange how short i imagined her, and she was a brunette. but she was really nice.

feelin lonesome since i broke up with the bed buddy...and still a little anxious i have yet to delete his phone number ughh. dont think i wanna pick up a new one since this one doesnt even like tattoos, double ugghhhh.

now im just waiting on a call to go in for my actual ink meeting. two weeks from tomorrow is my actual date, please dont flake on me jason! im gonna make it rain on you fo sho. not only because i didnt tip him my first time [so retarded of me especially since im a fucking waitress] but because i have well over a grand in savings alllll for him and my xl sized idea.
ill have to bring in some sushi for him or something. thank jesus juice i work at the sushi house...

e-stranger

jch345@hotmail.com — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 02:21:50 GMT

its nice to be too buy to keep up with online whatevers. a lot of shit goes down in hollyweird in a mere week and a half!
today i got a pair of stuart weitzman flats and giant coffee table books on hokusai and gil elvgreen for tattoo ideas...and motivation to save money now that i finally have a job that allows myself to afford a place of my own. and i told the pig how i really feel and im still alive. who knew?

MICHAEL VICK NEWS

jch345@hotmail.com — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 08:11:13 GMT

"Chapter 11 documents filed in federal court in Virginia on Monday say Vick is between $10-50 million in debt."

in the words of Nelson....HA HAAAAA.

:D

jch345@hotmail.com — Mon, 30 Jun 2008 16:20:32 GMT

new month on the horizon, as well as a new job, and a celebratory new pair of lanvin flats on the way...life could only make tomorrow august 1st so i can get my new tattoo ha.
i like the things i invest in,,,myself!

d-day

jch345@hotmail.com — Tue, 27 May 2008 04:46:53 GMT

backpiece will begin aug. 1st

just because

jch345@hotmail.com — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 21:19:37 GMT

i love this song. id love to get a milo tattoo. i think i could only imagine them, black flag, the misfits, and the stones as applicable band tattoos id never regret. im itching to get my back covered by a couple foo dogs, i need to set that up. im just worried about not being able to wear a bra for 2 weeks so it can properly heal, oi.

in other news how do you deal with a jealous cat that displays her anger by peeing on your very expensive shit?
today it was my 1500$ chloe bag and a gold hawk silk blouse from barneys. before that it was poop on one of my sheepskin rugs, luckily the cheap ikea one not my huge one from new zealand, phew.
she pissed on the bag cause i kicked her out cause i had a bed buddy last night, before it was cause i was in boston for 4 days. what the fuck. third strike and youre out. ill send her ass to china town and make some kittie kabobs. hopefully it doesnt come down to that, but cats live by their own rules, ugh.

oh the muppets

jch345@hotmail.com — Sat, 05 Apr 2008 17:17:03 GMT

HEEEEY

jch345@hotmail.com — Sat, 22 Mar 2008 23:27:04 GMT

im 21 and a mess, out of control. my life has no direction, and my indecisiveness mixed with crazy mood swings mixed with my miserable outlook presents a challenge. im truely starting to not give a fuck outside of serving tables and my clientele, and thats really not good. but ill give myself another year before ill seriously consider suicide. you hear that 2008? you could be the death of me so fucking liven up before i kill someone else instead.

happy happy, HAAPY birthday toooo meeeeeeeee because no i can get drunk anywhere i want even though this SNOW and the fact tht EASTER is tomorrow is ruining everything. i dont even feel like going out tonight, how awesome is that?

p.s. the only way to ressurect this situation is if i somehow, magically receive those DSquared2 ankle boots with the brass knuckles as heels. THE END.

EDIT: gimme madonnas new cd and a pre-screen to th sex and the city movie and i take everythign back! dont forget the brassknuck booties though..

edward norton

jch345@hotmail.com — Wed, 27 Feb 2008 00:24:47 GMT

has a black flag bars on his left shoulder blade.....so fucking hot.

just thought you should know what i just found out mmmmm.

reminder

jch345@hotmail.com — Fri, 22 Feb 2008 20:42:40 GMT

versace yellow china print dress, on agyness
dsquared lighting bolt heels!!!
finally cool russian prints from gucci
hr giger ring

still waiting on my top 2...

fun

jch345@hotmail.com — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 21:15:11 GMT

so spike jonze is the one remaking Where The Wild Things Are.

here.

blue nation

jch345@hotmail.com — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 18:01:41 GMT

so edwards is dropping, as is rudy and endorsing ancient mccain....looks like its gonna be a blue election! a very blue 2008.
just dont know if its gonna be a black man or bills lady mate as our next woMan...nor who im going to vote for, but probably hillary.

cares gone out the window

jch345@hotmail.com — Wed, 07 Nov 2007 02:09:20 GMT

navy boy where are you FUCK
its getting too cold to be single
especially since im out one marc jacobs jacket than i was a weekish ago...im gonna kill the bitch who stole it

crackhead

jch345@hotmail.com — Tue, 16 Oct 2007 18:56:10 GMT

im in the market for an apartment and a dog. no but seriously i have to move out or my mom will become my new landlord, and its strictly dickly a no fun zone.