"bitch is gonna get stabbed"

:D

2008-06-30T16:20:32Z

new month on the horizon, as well as a new job, and a celebratory new pair of lanvin flats on the way...life could only make tomorrow august 1st so i can get my new tattoo ha.
i like the things i invest in,,,myself!

d-day

2008-05-27T04:46:53Z

backpiece will begin aug. 1st

just because

2008-04-10T21:19:37Z

i love this song. id love to get a milo tattoo. i think i could only imagine them, black flag, the misfits, and the stones as applicable band tattoos id never regret. im itching to get my back covered by a couple foo dogs, i need to set that up. im just worried about not being able to wear a bra for 2 weeks so it can properly heal, oi.

in other news how do you deal with a jealous cat that displays her anger by peeing on your very expensive shit?
today it was my 1500$ chloe bag and a gold hawk silk blouse from barneys. before that it was poop on one of my sheepskin rugs, luckily the cheap ikea one not my huge one from new zealand, phew.
she pissed on the bag cause i kicked her out cause i had a bed buddy last night, before it was cause i was in boston for 4 days. what the fuck. third strike and youre out. ill send her ass to china town and make some kittie kabobs. hopefully it doesnt come down to that, but cats live by their own rules, ugh.

oh the muppets

2008-04-05T17:17:03Z

HEEEEY

2008-03-22T23:27:04Z

im 21 and a mess, out of control. my life has no direction, and my indecisiveness mixed with crazy mood swings mixed with my miserable outlook presents a challenge. im truely starting to not give a fuck outside of serving tables and my clientele, and thats really not good. but ill give myself another year before ill seriously consider suicide. you hear that 2008? you could be the death of me so fucking liven up before i kill someone else instead.

happy happy, HAAPY birthday toooo meeeeeeeee because no i can get drunk anywhere i want even though this SNOW and the fact tht EASTER is tomorrow is ruining everything. i dont even feel like going out tonight, how awesome is that?

p.s. the only way to ressurect this situation is if i somehow, magically receive those DSquared2 ankle boots with the brass knuckles as heels. THE END.

EDIT: gimme madonnas new cd and a pre-screen to th sex and the city movie and i take everythign back! dont forget the brassknuck booties though..

edward norton

2008-02-27T00:24:47Z

has a black flag bars on his left shoulder blade.....so fucking hot.

just thought you should know what i just found out mmmmm.

reminder

2008-02-22T20:42:40Z

versace yellow china print dress, on agyness
dsquared lighting bolt heels!!!
finally cool russian prints from gucci
hr giger ring

still waiting on my top 2...

fun

2008-02-20T21:15:11Z

so spike jonze is the one remaking Where The Wild Things Are.

here.

blue nation

2008-01-30T18:01:41Z

so edwards is dropping, as is rudy and endorsing ancient mccain....looks like its gonna be a blue election! a very blue 2008.
just dont know if its gonna be a black man or bills lady mate as our next woMan...nor who im going to vote for, but probably hillary.

cares gone out the window

2007-11-07T02:09:20Z

navy boy where are you FUCK
its getting too cold to be single
especially since im out one marc jacobs jacket than i was a weekish ago...im gonna kill the bitch who stole it

crackhead

2007-10-16T18:56:10Z

im in the market for an apartment and a dog. no but seriously i have to move out or my mom will become my new landlord, and its strictly dickly a no fun zone.

"one dude at a time"

2007-10-09T01:07:06Z

first tattoo: check.
-didnt really hurt even at 2 hours
-fucking gorgeous
-Jason L. at Deluxe Tattoo on Ashland/Irving Park Road in Chicago = amazing
the end.

there. i said it.

2007-09-17T02:33:53Z

i saw the most beautiful english mastiff puppies today at Chipotle. at a mere 2 months they were at least a foot and a half+ tall and kickin 25-35 pounds. adorable. i cant wait until i get a dog.

hmm so i never thought i would be where i am today but thats ok. i start waiting tomorrow and thats ok. all im focusing on now is me and its probably the absolute best thing i could and ever will do for myself. theres too much going on my life that is much bigger than school, bigger than a new handbag, bigger than what other people think. with my happiness and entire sense of being at stake im finally putting up a fight for it. im sure to disappoint and upset a few early on but under the circumstances i feel this is the only option left, and that is that. if my mothers death has shown me anything its that life is too short to hesitate or live in regret, and too long and painful to be unhappy or to put ones inner issues on the back burner. hopefully putting my longstanding beliefs into action will grant me the clarity to see and live life thereafter without missing out on something as valuable as my own mother ever again.
now i cant tell you where ill be a year from now, or even if ill be better. success to me wont be measured by time, assets, or anything really material. success is reaching happiness, and if it makes you happy it cant be that bad, can it? not unless heroine is the thing that makes you happy, but im excited and scared and worried and anxious all at the same time, but mostly just ready to start my living-spree to find me...its been a long time coming....

i feel like People says owen wilson does

2007-09-11T19:24:01Z

im broke
the marc jacobs show was shit, but so was his life so it makes sense
i want to drop out of school/take a semester off
i hate living at home
i need a companion in this chaos
im dry
blahasahkdgjhaga
wheres leon when you need him

fuck sean penn

2007-06-26T20:59:00Z

i love my new job. and that mean a lot cause my arms are all scratched up and i got bruised from the prettiest pitbull biting my left forearm.
also, another american staffordshire terrier at the daycare/kennel is an escape artist and little did i know that includes the 6 foot fences that line the inside of the outdoor area. i saw this fool leap up and almost pull himself over, until i grabbed his ass back down to the ground.
this job is the shit.

qua?

2007-06-17T05:06:14Z

why do boys i dont want to talk to the only ones who call? i dont pick up your calls or respond to you for a reason. sometimes i wish i had this tenacity and naivette in rejection, then i remember its best to be able to move on rather than look like an unobservant idiot.

haha i just rolled over onto my sleeping cat to turn up this bomb neil young song whoops.

lovely

2007-06-12T06:09:05Z

i still love mystic river and sean penn. and im so happy im probably going to visit my own sean penn in less than 2 weeks. hes blonde and cuter than sean penn, hopefully i wont be struck by lightening for saying that. hopefully calling him 'my own' wont either. ahhhh yes, the butterflies, i love having them while they also tend to make me second guess every thought i have about the person who gives them to me.

i cant wait...

2007-05-21T04:27:16Z

until i get a second job so i can save up and instead of buying an iPhone for myself, buy my mams 2 tickets to see Bette Midler with her friend or something in Vegas for my birthday. not so much for me, ill probably chill in washington and visit family or go on a shopping spree in Caesar's Forum shops but yeaahhhh i put her through too much shit and need to give back monetarily ASAP.

other materialistic goals include...

-money to go to LA with Garret in July and stalk Rob & Big
-couple new pairs of shoes
-chanel bag, or some new bag
-a pair of Tod's for my mom
-those two tattoos
-CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM SEASONS 1-5 or just 4 if i could only pick one!!! ive been craving some larry david and his life-isms and cant wait till HBO starts ondemanding THE CAR POOL LANE this tuesday oiii

i got my work cut out for me. mostly i just want a checking account to handle me just being able to buy things here or there without fretting too much about the reprocussions. not talking like sprees, just not feel guilty about $2-3-400 impulse buys. even around $3-400 i tend to plan out at least a month in advance so its not as ludacris as it sounds.

longterm ludacris expenses
-blue pitbull puppy
-a car
-fur coat or just one of balenciagas fur collar blazers or a fur accented winter coat
-finding an apartment, roomie, and a new tv and big ass couch

is it weird that

2007-05-17T09:00:36Z

i know two tattoos i want already and im just waiting for the specific events in my life of true actualization to happen before i can commemorate then and drill them into my skin permanently?
i say hell no, fuck you.

<3 mom
<3 leon

forever

happy mothers day

2007-05-13T20:21:27Z

i know what people are talking about when they say you dont know the value of something until its gone.

but now i know what it is to lose something you could have had but just never made a real attempt to attain, and it is much worse.

RIP 어머니

its a good thing drug dealers dont take credit

2007-04-30T00:48:46Z

today i found out how peaceful running errands can be. after a full nights rest, which is so rare these days, following a night of bong hits and bottles of champagne, they way i should always spend my hours of 5pm-10pm, i went to the bookstore. i picked up a bunch of things ive been looking up, mostly its one of the only places i feel that if i spent money at my mom wouldnt be explicitly pissed and/or disappointed in me blowing my credit/her money on since im broke. but on my list of things to read you can cross off...

-The Working Pit Bull by Diane Jessup - a great book , though pretty old not much has changed in the past 10 years with this breed besides more Breed Specific Legislation attempts in more states, i spent the past 4 hours reading it cover to cover. i decided a long time ago i want a dog, knew it would be a pitbull a couple months ago, and just this past weekend knew i wanted to get one this summer. if it wasnt possible before, i cant wait to start training, walking, and weight pulling with my blue pitty, Napoleon AKA Leon AKA Nappy D. yeah i know im crazy, whatever, but then why are you still friends with me? either way, it was somewhat repetative and could have emphasized how sweet pittys' demeanors can be besides its game or soundness, and also when its appropriate for people to start work specific training. it goes ino great detail of things basic breed/puppy books wouldnt answer, but im so into getting this dog that i feel i want everything, maybe even th emore obvious and trite information spelled out in front of me.

-The Tipping Point by Malcolm Gladwell - i cant wait to read this. although im behind on the bestsellers list i wanted to read this before 'Blink,' this subject matter seemed more interesting this mornign at first glance, which so ironically is what Blink is about.

-Stumbling on Happiness by Daniel Gilbert - hope this is as good as Gladwell and Levitt ('Freakonomics') suggests. this is about as self-help as ill ever go but i reasoned that it was more about studying our cognitive actions rather than trying to admit i have a problem and need change it....i guess that is pretty self-help but ugh ha oh well, ill find out later if thats true or not.

-The God Delusion by Richard Dawkins - with a metallic silver sleeve, the trend of the year, at least ill know i look chic when i tote around this 400 page piece dismantling the thing every 3 out of 5 people around me believe in. but i saw him on youtube speaking and reading excerpts from his book at some southern university maybe a monthish ago and he seemed far too brilliant and witty to pass up, although the $27 pricetag could have bought me a better dinner. i think ill save this one for the plane ride home when i can say ciao to boston and tell it to fuck itself proper, with or without their 'God.'

-Vouge by EIC Mz. Anna Wintour - breezing through im still looking for the elation i got from reading great articles as i did from 2 months ago when they had Jennifer 'fat but still beautiful' Hudson(?) on the cover. but you know, whatever, its still vogue and always necessary.

Some things I still need cause ghetto downtown crossing Borders didnt have any of them...

-Curb Your Enthusiasm, seasons 4 and/or 5; all they had were 1 and 3 and at $40 a season! when i get money im just going to go to Target or order it from amazon, until then its the internet.

-Pit Bulls for Dummies - as i said before, i just want all the basics in front of me, and these are always great books for beginners, even with out all the glossy photo its a must in peparation of me getting whats going to be pretty much a child, but 28947289347 times cuter and less annoying and stupid.

-American Born Chinese by Gene Loen Yang - its a graphic novel that addresses asians/chinese and all the stereotypes they face in a funny, visual way. half the reviewers say it was racist, i just say theyre asians blinded by their chinky eyelids and void of any sense of humor and imagination. this korean will be the judge someday.

-Chuck palahniuks new book - i didnt even look for it cause whatever, i already spent a hundo on the rest of that. the fiction can wait till i edumacate myself in realer fields of upper class thought, chu know.

-The Audacity of Hope by Barack Obama - since he does sort of represent my state i thought it would be valuable to get to know someone so close to home, let alone this guy that i know nothing about and everyone keeps hoping takes it in 2008. his eloquent and attention demanding speech must translate well to paper, since both his books are bestsellers, and it was ALL OVER the front of the store. but whatevah Obie, my negro, ill get to know you when i get back to chicago.

but im starting to want to read, and i like it. i also like the idea of me reading for myself, developing my own library to reflect my tastes, and also building a personal place of reference to give friends good reads or whatnot.
and i could go on about more shit, the dog, whatever but i also think i did enough to waste time and put off studying for my finals, so ill stop and move onto another website to kill time....oh perez hilton whatcha got for me on this day of rest, you fat and ugly little theif you....

ladeedah

2007-04-23T06:49:17Z

after making peace with the outside world and actually going out the whole weekend, after what has been mostly a 2 week long weed induced hibernation, im left wanting to talk someones ear off without knowing what exactly i could say to really explain how i feel right now.

its like im happy, content, sad, and upset all at the same time. right now im just thinking about leaving so soon and all the things i have to do before then in order to move back to chicago on top of getting some sort of closure, if thats possible, with all the people im not going to get to see more than i can afford to visit or vice versa. packing, getting a state id at the dmv ugh, papers, studying, i still have a fucking midterm i need to make up....its a bit stressful and just sort of shitty that what i thought was the only solution has turned into well into whatever this entry is about.

but its going to be in the 80s tomorrow, so crazy. and im thinking about saving this last old joint for chillin in the park, but i wish i didnt have to chose ugh. just the last of my quarter that managed to last about 3 days...oi vey, i wish i was tired.

ugh

2007-04-05T16:46:17Z

i just got back from the park plaza hotel; i stayed there for 2 days so i coudl escape reality and seeing a mouse in my apartment.
i havent been to class all week, i have so much stuff to do, i spent all my money on room service, and i dont want to do anything now except move back home. this place is bringing me down.

OMG

2007-03-29T11:29:36Z

i got the green light, so right now my focus is shifted towards attaining these.

-a dog
-a car
-an apartment

besides the occasional item or two all my resources will go towards getting these things starting NOW!
although that little Leon won't be mine, there will be other litters. patience is a virtue...distance [in time makes the heart grow fonder. in the meantime I'll just use the energy to make some cash money and draft my "that puppies mine!" e-mail.

On top of that I spent all morning cleaning and being productive. i started and finished my late paper and make up work and, besides this midterm i still have ot make up, i dont think i could feel any closer to cloud 9, less of course i already had those things above...but you know, im a realist. and im just happy that that having a dog is actually attainable omgtruelymadlydeeply im so happy.

OH, HERRROOO...i told you no one can say no to a face like this.

SRSLY

2007-03-28T18:32:43Z

just in case you havent seen it the other 28798274982374 places i posted him...i give you my baby, Napolean AKA Leon AKA Nappy D. Napolean cause he's a strong leader and phsycially strong (look at those shoulders!!!), Leon cause its one of the best movies of all time and hes sincere and a gentle giant, and Nappy D just because hes got baller roots and gets caught up in the drama of street life and misrepresentations by illegitimate breeders and pit fighting-supporting assholes.

i dont think ive wanted anything more in my entire life. its my DREAM DOG; those arent even supposed to actually exist. a BLUE...MERLE...Pitbull, its killing me. its fate too and the only thing standing in my way would be someones reason or reasoning and an extra thousand bucks. this little guy is $2K, but he also has comes from Pitfall Kennels, which is run by Bigboi's, of Outkast, older broseph. and again its a BLUE MERLE, probably the most coveted combination of genetics you could breed in present day. he also has the more muscular, image defining characteristics. I would totally get Napolean involved with weight pulling, he was born to do it and all pittys naturally want to please their owners.
i confessed to my mom about it last night, and ive yet to get an e-mail back from her. i almost regretted it afterwards, as there were deeper, darker confessions attached to what i wrote about wanting a dog as well, therapuetic etc. but when i woke up today i still stare at him with the same undying love i did when i first saw him.
of course you can say you just go through these things and the initial passion is temporary, but ive always toyed with the idea of a dog for at least a good year, ever since i couldnt bring my cat back with me. since i came back from winter break ive just felt like i needed a source or unconditional affection, attachment, fun, and just a positive routine in my life for my health. i need something to feel like they depend on me, have something view me as their life source, but on a more equal level like owning a pet, where its circulatory. im going to need him to make me smile and happy as much as he needs me to give him fresh water and hugs. theres no price on happiness either, although this is considerably more than anything else I've ever bought or invested in, but it would be the most rewarding by far.
if i had a car i would drive down to fairburn, georgia today and pick up my little Nappy D, but i dont. i just have this picture and images of what should be in my head. someday, hopefully, i will find another little Leon i can call my own. but until then ill always think of what will become of this one and wish that instead of wondering i would be able to know because if i had the time and resources he would have already been with me, sitting on the end of my bed. and maybe instead of writing this we would be out walking in the sun, scaring others with his powerful presence, but winning them over with his heart in the end.